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*R O Y A L
The resplendent character to the left is King Mswati III, Ingwenyama of Swaziland, 15th on the Forbes wealthiest royals list. Here, he is shown in traditional dress, radiating in swag and giving very few fucks for what you think about him or Swaziland, the last fully monarchial state in Africa.
I’ve been a tad unnerved at the blank stares I’ve been met with in Europe when having mentioned Swaziland. It is a real place, with real people, and an actual king. Swaziland and Lesotho are both Kingdoms, landlocked within South Africa. They both remain independent. Swaziland is Africa’s last-remaining absolute monarchy, in which the king has the capacity to appoint top government posts and prime ministers. Lesotho’s royalty is ceremonial.
Economically, neither state presents much of abundant interest. Swaziland has a lot of sugar. Both have many, many mountains. Both peg the value of their currencies to the South African Rand at a 1:1 rate, like those remora fish who feed off sharks.
A very noteworthy feature of Swaziland’s royalism is how the throne is electorally-ascended to. Instead of a european-style patrilineal lineage, where the eldest son inherits the title of his reining father, Swaziland’s lineage is electorally-decided by a royal council:
Swaziland’s king, known as Ngwenyama (the lion), is appointed by a royal privy council of eldermen, the Loqoqo, who also look towards the mothers of the princes-incumbent when making their selection, as the Swazi monarchy is a dual one, where the mother rules alongside the King as an advisor, called Ndlovukazi (literally, the Great She-Elephant). Intermarrying is not allowed (loud coughs directed at Europe), and thus the King’s wives are always members of other tribal chieftaincies, encouraging solidarity throughout the nation. The selected prince must be unmarried, must never be the eldest son borne of the King and cannot have any brothers. Thus, only consorts who have borne a single son will be eligible to be chosen. If the selected prince is still a minor, his mother will rule as Regent until his majority.
Queen Ntombi Twala of Swaziland, the mother of King Mswati III, as depicted by Andy Warhol in his Reigning Queens series.
Where are
the Swazi women at?
King Mswati III was not the first-born son of his father, Sobhuza II - whose reign of eighty-two years is the longest in recorded history. As is tradition in Swaziland, King Sobhuza married numerous consorts, who together bore him two-hundred and ten children between 1920 - 1970, one-hundred and eighty of which survived infancy. The King had more than one thousand grandchildren at his sudden death, when he died while doing a traditional dance called "incwala."
The Swazi King is expected to practice polygamy (for national solidarity, obviously), and Mswati III currently has fifteen wives and twenty four children. He is still not bothered by what you think of him. In what is described as the "most shitty" part of becoming King of Swaziland, the first two royal consorts are selected for the King by the Royal Council who chose him. Further, the King is only permitted to marry his fiancées if they fall pregnant. And the King may not marry a twin, which sucks if you’re a twin and want to be in an harem.
only permitted to marry his fiancées if they fall pregnant. And the King may not marry a twin, which sucks if you’re a twin and want to be in an harem. A recent scandal showed that the King’s "wife selection committee" had actually kidnapped a girl, a minor, and despite efforts by the girl’s mother to have her daughter returned, she was wed to the king :(
Once, a friend of mine from school was asked to partake in the annual Reed Dance, in which unmarried virgin girls are obligated to make their way to the royal residence to partake in an eight-day ceremony involving both reeds and dance. The girls partake in the ceremony with their buttocks and breasts exposed, and it is typical that the King uses this ceremony to choose new wives, but just one per year. My friend declined, and she now lives in LA.
The King is still not bothered, he found someone else.
My Super Sweet
~Reed Dance~
Post Script:
Hallelujah and laughs aside, rather please do not assume that SV. or the writer of this note endorses or wishes to glorify irresponsible ruling or governance. Swaziland does not have a wonderful democratic or human rights record, like almost all of Africa, and "democratically-elected" presidents, dictators and Kings alike, are each capable of providing stable and fair governance, like Frederick The Great of Prussia, a King who ruled with the mindset of full duty to his people and post.