Should I be offended?

 

My favourite perfumer gave me artisanal toothpaste. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A resentful teacher once forced my class to keep a “gratitude diary,” an idea she probably conceived via a religious affliction to watching Oprah - which on its own, like massage, does not make you a better person.

 

I was unenthused and unparticipative for three reasons: 1. Quite fucking condescending of her to assume that I wasn’t already grateful; 2. Noting that for which I was grateful was not about to make me more grateful for it; 3. My gratitude was none of her business. 

 

Some ten years later and I’m confused as to whether be grateful or offended that my favourite perfumer, Harald Lubner, just gifted me a box of Couto toothpaste, regardless of its stylish artisanal vintage.

 

 

 

 

While restocking on my favourite fragrance, Green by Miller et Bertaux, I thought I had received a most-welcome gift of hand creme. But it was actually just tooth paste, compliments of Herr Lubner himself.  

 

I ponder, “Was he just super sanguine about the toothpaste, that he wanted to share some of it, or was he hinting to me about halitosis?”

 

I’ve decided that I’ll accept both with a warm heart. Giving the gift of anything vague and artisanal is brilliant in the face of our over-manufactured, over-advertised society. Otherwise, if the gift was meant to imply that I should visit my oral hygienist more often, then I’m stoked that I bagged a stylish toiletry out of it. Chips, Harald. I’m grateful as hell.