Should I be offended?

My favourite perfumer gave me artisanal toothpaste. 

A resentful teacher once forced my class to keep a “gratitude diary,” an idea she probably conceived via a religious affliction to watching Oprah - which on its own, like massage, does not make you a better person.

I was unenthused and unparticipative for three reasons: 1. Quite fucking condescending of her to assume that I wasn’t already grateful; 2. Noting that for which I was grateful was not about to make me more grateful for it; 3. My gratitude was none of her business. 

Some ten years later and I’m confused as to whether be grateful or offended that my favourite perfumer, Harald Lubner, just gifted me a box of Couto toothpaste, regardless of its stylish artisanal vintage.

While restocking on my favourite fragrance, Green by Miller et Bertaux, I thought I had received a most-welcome gift of hand creme. But it was actually just tooth paste, compliments of Herr Lubner himself.  

I ponder, “Was he just super sanguine about the toothpaste, that he wanted to share some of it, or was he hinting to me about halitosis?”

I’ve decided that I’ll accept both with a warm heart. Giving the gift of anything vague and artisanal is brilliant in the face of our over-manufactured, over-advertised society. Otherwise, if the gift was meant to imply that I should visit my oral hygienist more often, then I’m stoked that I bagged a stylish toiletry out of it. Chips, Harald. I’m grateful as hell. 

September marks yet another dolphin hunting season in Japan, where more than 20,000 dolphins and porpoises are killed every year, and their meat, containing toxic levels of mercury, is being sold as food in Japan, often times labeled as whale meat. 

Speed up, breathe. I look at my watch but perceive not the time for me.

I escape, I am gone. Love for the moment, love in the moment.

When is it that I be? Sunset, sunrise.

Slow down, rush into society.

Heartskips, flashes, animosity. Freedom, options, possibilities, decisions, choices, closed doors. Where is the scale, what is the rating? Meadowless, this trial is unabating. Jump, try, perhaps, concede.

Orange, pink sunfall promenade, birthed by this Earth and calm again. 

The twilight darkens, navy to black, speed up, breathe, escape from hath.

                          *

 *R O Y A L  

M       A       R       R

 Are so very many of your school friends and relations suddenly betrothed or wed?

I       A      G      E

Does this also fill you with anxiety?, making you want to escape into a forest?

Two Out-of-Touch White Males Solve The Oscar Pistorius Murder Trial

Chapter I

“I’m so glad I don’t get shooty when I’m drunk”
- Carl Michael Botha-Smit III of The Vaal, South Africa

notes on Generation Y, II.

Is your child is an asshole though?

There is a definitive conflict which has been engrained into members of Generation Y. Typically raised by parents who applauded and rewarded for almost every and any "achievement," a sense of entitlement and "worth" has developed within members of Generation Y. Some phrases which can surmise Y-mindsets would be the following; "I deserve this" (used to justify purchases), "I deserve more," "This isn´t worth my time," "I am capable of achieving anything I wish." On a very primal level, a Generation Y member wants to consider themselves "worthy" of the best, whether that is in reference to personal goals, positions in the workplace, or purchasing, and this belief in their own importance can cause conflict with their actuality. This generation has sky-high standards, especially after having been raised surrounded by the 90s notion, "Do what you love" - which is unrealistic, for the most part.

This entitled characteristic and a desire of individuality is in obvious conflict with a basic social requirement, namely of functioning in or as a group, and also conforming to expectations laid down in an office or schoolroom, for example. While a highly-placed level of self-importance may be the case, Generation Y was also typically raised to be tolerant. Thus, though members may wish to function independently, they can certainly "collaborate," putting forward their own skills towards a group´s goal, even if that is done so independently.

notes on Generation Y,  I

Today’s youth have a strong emphasis on Idealism, derived from a desire to identify with a cause or ideal or, simply, an idea, usually in a visual or conceptual manner. For example, taking on supra-environmentalist principles is a common trend of generation Y, evident especially in younger members. Thus, the generation holds a strong judgmental characteristic, where members‘ attempts to constantly define themselves in order to support the creation or development of their ‛identity’ causes close-mindedness to alternatives - which, ultimately, leads to a general characteristic of being perfectionist, in seeking out such principles, which can seldom be fully comprehended by someone lacking in life experience, though not without access to information about anything. However, the member’s action of idealising is irrational, because in general, young minds lack practical or realistic reasoning, resulting in such cases as eight year olds deciding to become vegetarian, without being able to explain why, but likely having been cornered by the idea when they heard a character with whom they identify, mention the phrase. 

Anna Wintour speaks

from her country house

in rural Holland

built in her likeness.

Generally my opinion is not something I wish for people to have. It is not theirs, it belongs to me. If they know my opinion, they begin to assume that they know me. No body knows me except for Andy Warhol and that is definitely only because we on one occasion, mistakenly transfigured ourselves through the same iguana. Nevertheless, we haven’t spoken to each other since a disagreement over the nutritional value of a carrot.

You should know, that I’m looking fondly at themes North. North is up. The sky is up. Up. We must progress upwards, not southwards. North is immortal, south is a barren death. Aboriginal patterns tire me. In the spring of 1987, I entered Sol Kerzner’s Manhattan apartment, across whose foyer was a giraffe skin sprawled. I became so disorientated that I passed out and had to drink 3 sips of ionised water. Later, when I was lost, looking for a shrine so that I could pray before dinner, I walked through a drawing room and became so overwhelmed by a zebra skin, that my body tried to regurgitate the water I had earlier consumed. I didn’t allow for such an act.

With regard to nature, while we should maintain an aversion to animal patterns, Elisabeth von Turn und Taxis has introduced me to a new love: The National Geographic magazine. It contains some unbelievably insightful photography which you can sometimes carefully tear-out and then frame.

Thank you for your time, namaste.

Overthinking 

overthinking.

Admitting to having been given birth to in the 90s often elicits gazes and stares from around yourself, filled with judgement augmented by pursed lips. Looks not of jealously at one’s naive youth, but instead looks of resentment. "Is this what we have created?" Mine is the first generation for whom self-control of one’s image projection is an almost primal pre-thought to any action during a day. My generation does not "live fast," my generation instead considers in what style each fast moment shall be lived. My yacht is sinking? Wait, allow me to first take a selfie. Oh no, is that my hair? I’ll need a do-over.

I think that

I overthink

how much I overthink.

Generation Y is the generation which will come to be defined by the plague of self-awareness. How will my email password remind me of what defines me? Generation Y allows their self-projection to facilitate their purchases. I need this jacket to define myself. Will Prada or Diesel better define who I am? Thus, purchases are easily justified as necessities, and shopping is a recreational pastime in itself, fostered also by having been raised by an over-indulgent parental generation who primed during a period with middle-class credit

allows their self-projection to facilitate their purchases. I need this jacket to define myself. Will Prada or Diesel better define who I am? Thus, purchases are easily justified as necessities, and shopping is a recreational pastime in itself, fostered also by having been raised by an over-indulgent parental generation who primed during a period with middle-class credit. 

Who am I? Do people believe my projection?

This questioning’s worst inhibition is the effect had when Generation Y enters the workforce, or contemplates the act thereof. "Is this my calling?" is one of the most loaded phrases that a society has ever collectively mouthed. The question implies that one must have a purpose. Indeed, but should someone have actually answered this question concerning giving reason to existence, their published book would be the actual No. 1 New York Times Bestseller. There is a very small handful of people with enough insight and capacity to have worked out what is actually going on here on Earth. Those who have not, are spending their short existences attempting to define themselves.

of people with enough insight and capacity to have worked out what is actually going on here on Earth. Those who have not, are spending their short existences attempting to define themselves.

I keenly await the creatively exhibitionist gravestones that Generation Y will pre-order. The last question Generation Y will overthink:

Does this font

best capture my essence?

(Would someone please ironically use Comic Sans to inscribe "can u not?" on their headstone?)

Monday January 13th, 2014

Google issued an apology to Germany over an error on Google Maps through which for the 64th consecutive year, the world was reminded of the occurrence of World War II, an event described by white people as "really awkward." Due to a glitch Google has not yet explained, an historic plaza in Berlin officially named "Theodor-Heuss-Platz," after the first post-war president, was found to be listed as "Adolf Hitler Platz." It is indeed really awkward, as the reference is so taboo that in German, iPhone autocorrects the word "Hitler" to a blank space.